We Have Rooms For That!

I was scrolling through posts on a local mother's breastfeeding support group facebook page two days ago and I came across a post that has brought up a lot of emotion in me. More so than most, because after nursing three children nothing really surprises me. But this, this totally caught me off guard.  In a sad way, it really hit home as to why advocating for normalizing breastfeeding is becoming such a big deal! Here is a text that was sent to her husband,  by a family member during what was supposed to be a family holiday dinner. 

Now, the first time I read this my mind went on a mini rant immediately: " Who does he think he is?" , "Her husband should lose it on him", "this poor woman was just feeding her baby and hanging out with family".... But then I spent a day thinking about it and discussing it with my husband. And here is what conclusions this poor ignorant soul's text has brought me:

A. It only amplifies my feelings about how badly our country needs Us and You to advocate for "Breast is Best" and this means being able to breastfeed our babies/toddlers anytime and anyplace moms are allowed to be. Moms should feel free to feed their baby from the breast or bottle without judgement from the outside world...The End! 

B. I'm not really sure about my audience but I personally don't call it "tit-feeding". I debated whether or not to blur this word but in the end I decided not. Why? Because it shows exactly what type of battle we are up against. I have seen many moms breastfeeding throughout my short life and I have never seen one single mom flash her boob to anyone but her baby.

C. Is it just me or is it really sad that people are afraid of teaching children the truth behind what Breasts are for? When did we become OK with girls wearing very revealing prom gowns and chastising a  mother trying to nourish her baby with a priceless resource that her body has made just for that baby. Really messed up. 

D. We were all babies once and believe it or not, inside our own mother, put there by our father's! Seriously, if this makes someone squeamish, they are not old enough for sex and maybe not old enough to play with the big boys. Doing what is naturally best for our bodies as well as our babies and families should be without judgement. It is a natural course of life! Get over yourself. In this day in age, you see more skin in 30 mins of cable television than any breastfeeding mother wants to show. 

E. If you can't be yourself around family, then maybe you should reconsider who you call "family". Let them be responsible for their feelings, not you.  Naturally, if you feel like you aren't welcome, your whole visit will be ruined so why go? Nothing is saying you have to attend and that goes for baby as well. Most of the time family will come around and realize as moms we are educating ourselves with evidence based information and leave us be. If not, it is 100% their loss! 

and Finally F....because I really want to tell this guy to Eff the eff off 

F. The most disturbing part about this whole text is towards the end. "I'M GOING TO (correcting his grammar) LOSE IT ON HER" How did this statement make you feel? For me, especially someone who has over come domestic violence, this is appauling and disgraceful. I know when my husband read that particular part his eyes got a little bigger and you could see the gears working as if to say "what if this was said to my wife". I dare someone to lose it on me or any other breastfeeding mom around me. Would I react with violence, of course not,( I can't promise my husband wouldn't find a "room for that" although I don't advocate violence).  But they wouldn't need me to, because when it comes to what is best for my babies and myself...I am like a Lioness, protecting and nourishing her cubs! I would organize a Nurse In like no one has ever seen! 


The best and only way to normalize breastfeeding is by educating others gently, Nursing our babies in public places, and be completely unapologetic for doing what is best for the world, even if some poor ignorant souls don't see our super hero work! 

Hi, Welcome to Magic Milk

      

 I've been trying to write this first blog for months. I tried writing, typing, hoping it would just come out of my head and magically create itself. Instead, I would feel inspired, a span of time with no one to attend to, a great idea and then BAM, just like that it came and went. Home life keeps moving on. So please bear with me because A. I need to write this to know that I can still communicate with the outside world (I know many moms know the feeling) B. Breastfeeding is awesome and C. Did I mention Breastfeeding is awesome?

       First, a little bit of personal background: I'm a mother to three great children, two boys and a girl. My oldest son, Basketball Boy, is my c-section baby. He was my smallest baby at 7lb 14oz., and nursed for thirteen months. He self weaned due to my pregnancy with his sister, which caused a drop in supply, combined with poor knowledge of extended breastfeeding on my part. My second baby, Flower Girl, was my first VBAC (vaginal birth after a cesarean) and my biggest baby weighing in at 8lb 11oz. She nursed for sixteen months and self weaned due to her father and I separating, the subsequent divorce being too stressful for me to cope with and, again, lack of knowledge on my part. Having my first two children twenty months apart at the age of twenty-one and twenty-three was an eye opener. Needless to say, I was thrust into motherhood and all it entailed with little ones in the home. My third baby, Hoss, came at a time when I was much more experienced as a mother. I had time, education, and perspective under my belt. He still threw me for a loop and that has led me to where I am now. He has been nursing for twenty-nine months and counting. He was born via VBAC on his guess date weighing 8lb 4oz and has literally demanded I change as a parent, as a woman, and as a human being.

My  family-2011

    Now, a little bit of educational background: I have been fascinated with pregnancy and breastfeeding ever since I was a child. I remember studying the anatomical pregnancy and lactating breast pictures in a woman’s health encyclopedia of my mother's. Shortly after I had my second child, I became a certified doula, which I loved, but it was difficult to be on call once I became a single parent of two toddlers. I started college shortly after my husband and I separated and, although I tried with all of my might, going through a divorce with two small toddlers, moving back home, and attending nursing school nearly killed me (did you know you can have the flu, mono, and scarlet fever all at the same time?). I was a semester away from graduating and, due to severe test anxiety (had no clue at the time), I failed a final exam by half of a point (don't change your answers!). God was telling me that becoming an RN was not in the cards at the time. (If only I hadn't spent a crazy amount of money before I figured that out). I really would love to have a nursing career and eventually fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a midwife - just not right now. So, here I am. Since nursing school, I have been a stay at home mother and have added homeschooler to the mix. What does all this mean? Well, it means that I am passionate about my role as a mother and as a breastfeeding advocate. So why Magic Milk?

       When I was twenty, I was pregnant with my first baby and I clearly remember the flood of questions that came at me from good-intentioned and curious mothers, family, friends, and even strangers in the check out line. “When are you due?” “Boy or Girl?” “What type of paci, soap, diapers?” But the only time I remember anyone asking if I was breastfeeding (other than in my birthing class or at the Dr.'s office) was in the hospital. I had not taken any classes or asked a ton of questions, but I read a lot of books and was lucky to have a family that was supportive in my choice to breastfeed. Yet, once my son was born, the flood of unsolicited infant feeding advice was more than I could take. Already dealing with the disappointment of an urgent c-section, breastfeeding was something to keep me focused on the positive and gave me a sense of accomplishment as a new mother. After all of the breastfeeding horror/bashing stories or “formula is just like/better than breast milk” comments, I knew I would be lucky if I could nurse him at all, let alone to my projected three month mark (my ex mother in law insisted on keeping a can of formula in her house, just in case). Let the nursing journey begin!

      Luckily for me, nursing came pretty naturally for both my baby and myself; but that being said, there are still concerns, doubts, and problematic situations that arise in even the best breastfeeding relationships. Top all of that with, shall we say, misinformed (but well-meaning) friends and family and a society that is more than a bit squeamish at the *gasp* sight of a mother putting a baby/toddler/child to breast. (We all know that this same society prefers all women to keep their breasts covered at all times. Ha…ha…ha… (sarcasm). It's no wonder that breastfeeding in modern America is one of the biggest feats a woman can conquer. But, it is the most invaluable, all-love-giving, ever-abundant, full-of-sweet-yummy-germ-killing-goodness, knows-no-limits resource our world has to offer. This is why, my friends, I welcome you to Magic Milk. I want to share with you all of the great things breastfeeding our babies and toddlers has to offer not only babies, but ourselves, our partners, family/friends, and ultimately communities. The evidence-based data is there to prove it. I also believe there is nothing like being taught by experience. I want to create a place for mothers to come support and share with each other, a place where we can encourage each other through the rough patches and congratulate each other on providing the best of ourselves to our children - knowing better and doing better. Welcome Magic Milk Mamas! (And Supporters!)  

I want to give a big thank you to April and Billy at BillyFann.com. They have done all of our graphics on our Facebook page and have been working on our soon to come official website! They are a great couple as well as awesome parents and have a work ethic like no other couple I've seen!